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Page 1 of 4 Now that I'm out of college, I'm not only having a harder time finding
single Christian girls to date, but when I do find someone I'm
attracted to, her schedule is often so full that it's tough to get
together. Any suggestions?
Many years ago I was cleaning out a church supply closet with a friend of mine. I have no idea what we were talking about, but at some point in the conversation I mentioned to her that I believed my husband was the primary reason for my existence. She was stunned. I'm not sure she has recovered to this day.
Where did I get that radical notion? Well, like so many of my radical notions, it came from the Bible. First Corinthians 11:9 says, "Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man."
While I wait for you to get over your shock as well, let me remind you that I warned you in my letter that God's ways are upside-down from the world's ways. While there are a some things we do that are leftovers from the time when our culture was strongly influenced by biblical principles, most of our ideas and habits these days are much more affected by our fallen nature.
This has resulted in men treating women like toys, and women treating men like wardrobe accessories.
When God first made Eve, He said (I guess to Himself), "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18). The word that is here translated "comparable to" (or the more familiar translation "meet for") is the Hebrew word neged. It describes something that stands "over against" something else. When Eve was in Adam's presence, she was in some way part of him, yet she was also very much a separate person.
But as you know, God tied neged to ezer (helper). So what you have is separated people who are designed to be rejoined as workers together. But not equal co-workers. Adam is the head guy, Eve is the helper.
Hmm, you say, that's all very interesting...but you've lost me. What exactly does that have to do with my dating problems?
Okay. We've been having this conversation for quite a long time now. But one thing I guess I've never emphasized is that when God gave us His divine plan for men and women, He didn't intend for us to pick through it and just keep the pieces we like. Said another way, when one part of a play isn't performed right, it throws everything off. Have you ever been on stage waiting for a cue line that never comes?
The primary reason your prospective date doesn't have time for you (and I'm assuming she would like to have time for you...if not, that's another issue) is because she's so focused on preparing herself to live in a world where men will let her down.
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